I dont want such a guy in my life. I left for work like normal and he told me he loved me Kissed me said have a good day babe text me later. Hotter and prettier and with a better body. You think to yourself how can someone take advantage of you and use you then just disappear. Thursday he couldnt wait to come home to me and Friday he acted like I never existed.it just makes no sense to me. You said it so well! I started by deleting his phone number so that I know I wont text him anymore but I still havent managed to unfriend him. The only reason im hurt is because I got what I wanted taken away from me; the perfect looking guy and bang his brains out. What a f*cking shame!! Thats exactly what my ex fiance was like. Just grey ticks on whatsapp. vanished!! Im so sorry you found yourself in this situation. Around 7 months ago I started talking to an old friend Ive have know since I was 12 (Im 18 now) we were great friends and talked a lot almost every day for a few years. I did call him and text him but no reply . its one thing to fade after a first date- ive done that and i have it done to me many many times. He did tell me once that it hurt him a little that I didnt text him for two days after one of our dinner dates. I knew he had a big meeting with his boss so I told him I wouldnt bug him until later. Then come back, then two weeks, on and on. Why does this happen?? Said he was staying with a friend in a town near me and again I suggested a catch up. And that is something that happens to a lot of women out there. I did so because I needed to let him know that his behavior by ignoring is unacceptable. It pains me how many people have been through something like this. I guess in his case its not ghosting but it became plain emotional abuse, as he has known me for so long and still manages to hurt me on purpose when disappearing. In his city ughhhh. Its been 3 months, 24/7. I never fell back asleep because of all of the emotion running through me. One of the easiest new connections Ive ever had. He never answered. He will be at your doorstep within a few minutes. The fact he can go out and date and not care and I am still very emotional about it. Hi im Fay. The baffling thing to me is that hes still keeping me as a FB friend. Then whenever i get over it and get my life back on track he comes back and manages to destroy it again. This has happened a lot every time its been through the internet. But now he keeps viewing my profile WHY? This is obviously the work of a man who has issues with self-image. I say leave it be and stay focused on you. We swapped pictures and he seemed really happy with what he saw.. I gave this relationship everything I had, I am guilty of ghosting a borderline personality disorder women. We finally texting each other and everything was just going awesome. He is gone. Dated for like 2 months, Then BAM Everything changed. Im guessing not and no, dear, once you have started dating her, no matter how unpleasant it may be you are responsible to give a few minutes of your precious time to this human being so she is not left in the dark, particularly during what sounds to be a difficult, aimless phase of her life. After a while I met him and he seemed just as nice as he did online. He called and text begging me to see him saying he missed me. Expecting that for yourself will raise the bar, it just works. We had an agreement from the start of the relationship that if either one of us decided that we didnt want to see one another, that we would tell that person. We dated for two months, inseparable since our first date. I dont delete their numbers. Somewhere down the road of good times, and cute dates he didisappeared. He said he had a great time. The next date was amazing to say the least. the thing is, i know i deserve more and i know i dont like him that much anymore because of what he did but to be treated this way just hurts on a deep level. He says to have fun. and see what happens! When im not feeling it i will communicate it, but not all men do that. After he left to melbourne on 20th it broke me, where as hed just say he misses his family and home (His family stays here) and now hes totally cut me off doesnt respond to me i see him online all the time, I feel used and hurt cos we promised each other vl be there for each other during this phase of separation. We meet up when he is in my town, and the chemistry is off the charts, like in the past. I dont know what people do in these cases. We cuddled all night and hooked up again the next morning. He was kind of my unicorn, and Im just wondering if it was a timing issue (Im not in the best place right now, hes super busy with school) or if he really just lost interest in me. I didnt understand why he hadnt told me this in person the day before?!? Im so confused right now, Ok so I been talking to this guy for 4weeks , i met him on the gram. As others are stating, long distance relationships are really hard and rarely last. I meet guys who seem attracted and things seem to go fast like we click. He even assured her he wasnt going to hurt me. We excitedly made plans to hang out. 2. If you dont want him to juggle then tell him. He always texted after every date to say he had a great time. So I met a guy online and he was from my country but both have lived here since we were kids. His loss.. Prior to this we had spoken every day multiple times a day via text with funny pictures and videos and just overall hows ur day how was work what are you doing now. It took me awhile to reply to his text, when i did it was high-five happy and sexually overt, not a great reflection of me, I dont drink but when i re-read the text I sounded drunk! so.. Sabrina is right :), OMG!! I texted him to tell him I was taking my daughter to the Dr and not to call. I dont generally ask for advice about my relationships ( this isnt a relationship) since I am super reserved, but Ive found this website helpful and needless to say I am CONFUSED. Now Im waiting to see if Im actually pregnant. I keep textin and textin and he not saying nothing. I got in his bed fully clothed in pajamas, he tried to take it further than making out, I respectfully declined. No Emojis. Both moved, and are closer to each other now. (then we both disappear again lol!) While he is gone, Im hurt, scared and sad. 18 years later he called me back FINALLY. After two dates she already seemed pretty attached, but I doubt she knew a single thing about me- she never listened when I spoke and didnt ask me any questions. I have no idea why he stopped contacting me. But some people get in them because they want that. Thanks Moon. Im going through a similar situation and as much as it sucks you have to move on. I am moving on, I wont forgive him this time, but I still think and hope that he will contact me eventually and we will talk and explain things as normal, adult people should. When his coworker/friend mentioned me all I got from his coworker was he says he remembers you and thats it. you have been too available. Anyways, in our culture, we dont kiss or sleep Should I try to reach out when Im I feel as if I could love him if we had a longer time together but I do very much care for him. AnNieH, With online dating, I advocate meeting someone pretty soon somewhere in public after the initial contact. But these guys are in their mid 30s and 40s. I am entering this comment under an alias just to be careful and avoid the guy i am writing this about from seeing it. I ask myself from time to time Am I doing the right thing by not reaching out? At the same time, I know I did nothing wrong and he was a complete coward to not come forward and tell me he wasnt interested anymore In a way, it was his wrong and I dont need to sorry about anything. Interested men with continue to show interest. But we would cuddle and kiss. his answer was suddenly emotionless and official and he told me he will not be at home that time. That karma bit That may be your personal experience but dont let it cloud giving advice. What can I do for HIM? In the future when you are out with a man, please be mindful of how much you are drinking. And also I understood that he is definatley not into me. Met a guy through online site. Im so confused and stress with this situation. This is really bad because I started to lose my self-confidence, I become more and more insecure. You have a small window of opportunity abort a child if that child is going to be in an unstable home. I was thinking to finally cut the possible communications to save myself from expectation. I said this real convenient that right around Christmas you need a week and then after New Years. I think this guy has a lot of issues he needs to deal with and that he doesnt even seem to be aware of. The last time I saw him was a week ago- Tuesday 23rd, just before we both went home for Christmas. I feel that some of this men have not just commitment issues but this behavior is not with dating with them it is with other issues in there life. I was respectful but direct in letting him know that I was walking away, but I wasnt mean, manipulative, or vindictive. The second time was a year later due to a misunderstanding. Was this yesterday? Guys are on an entire different timeline than women. Two months later on Christmas Eve he contacts me via text and every other day we texted back and forth. here are you each located? Such a crybaby. Amber Heard appears to have deleted her Twitter account days after her ex-boyfriend Elon Musk's $44 billion takeover of the platform. This texting business is so juvenile. Weve been staying in touch for some time and seeing each other, but weve had some fights etc. Its been 3 months and he is a no-show. May I just add that there has been no intimacy whatsoever, but we seemed really into each other. I have followed their advice for years and its always been spot on). Don't reach out on multiple platforms. I am a dude who admittedly has shied away from many relationships that were apparently working great. And he has just done the same thing again. She is not a bad person but sadly she is not normal due to her borderline personality disorder. Ive never flaked on a guy and have only ever experienced disappointment from men despite being kind and loyal. Like many non-ADHDers, I was the subject of hyperfocused dating by my ADHD partner (who I did not know at the time had ADHD). I just got sucked into his web of lies. Me, never get time to sort though all Iv been through. Anyway, a definite connection, total talk of things we would do in the futurethe last time he contacted me was the 17th. I too was charmed, pursued and wooed relentlessly. So glad I found this article!! So he went camping with his kids and I heard nothing. You asked me to delete your number, you wanted no contact So dont go out of your way to talk to me. I dont miss him, I dont hate him, I just got fed up of wasting my time on him, nice work! Maybe you should wonder why? And most of the time, they will reason that the girl is probably on the same page so there is no need to reach out. (I know what youre about) Im confused. Three weeks go by, still havent heard from him, and he finally calls me, but at 330am, sorry but Im asleep. A guy did this to mewhy string me along? We never saw eachother yet and we made plans to see eachother on a Saturday. I last spoke to him Thursday evening where he told me to have a Good night. We talked regularly after that, and snapchatted like she usually did but then last weekend I had to work and study for a midterm so we didnt talk for 4 days. He says he does not see me much anymore and whats my work extension so he can call me. I tried contacting him but no response. I am in this crappy situation also, I have been dealing with this guy for a looong time. No man worth anything is going to commit to you. the problem is I had gained weight and was even more self conscious so when I moved to Australia, he kept asking me to hang out and I would always find an excuse and one day I told him listen I dont feel good right now, really self conscious,bla bla.. he told me he would never judge me. My boyfriend Kenny has. 2: he is the one who said hed be back to help me, so it is his responsibility to be contacting me. That was the last I heard from him. In person, conversation is normal and usually light. So I texted him. He clearly has issues, and you dont need his issues to become your issues. Then one day, we talked like the usual then in the evening, I sent him a message and he didnt respond. As with most painful experiences only time will heal. During this month of his vacation, its just once that we talked via bbm and i was the one who started the conversation. I am guilty, I questioned that as well and yet still no answer. A guy did this to me once, after a few weeks of seeing each other. We made plans for Saturday, at 6. You are either in or out! He claimed how much he loved me but he was very selfish during our relationship and dont put much effort and for that he was sorry. I think they need to feel like they are in control and not have to answer to anyone cause then they are in a relationship. Holly, i know this was almost a year ago, but this EXACT same thing just happened to me. The next week everything was the same the same amount of talking and interest. Mind you I am not a narcissist, I am a codependent nice guy/white knight. Although it sucks, I realize that I dont deserve this and hes just not the guy for me. I just freeze up. So I met this guy while I was at work. Relationships can be beautiful, but the dating part before you have a real connection can be brutal. I am at the point of not knowing what to do. He never does. Several times we have even told our attorneys to put our divorce on hold, but then as soon as I push to spend any real time together or better yet, be physicalshe pulls away, I lose my temper and feel duped and the divorce is back on with full vengeance. and now he is in america for 2 weeks. Who does that? Him doing that made me open my heart and now I feel absolutely used. At first, he would initiate contact always and sometimes first thing in the morning which seemed quite cute.. Incidentally, I was in another long term on and off relationship with someone else in the past and I would hate to go back there, therefore avoid it like a plague. I dont understand it or him at all. I really think he owes me, I need to know where I stand. Is this a line, where they were just curious, or could I actually be intimidating them without realizing it? No, he never spends time with me. Until I came back to my city. We got involved quickly. you probably wont want to, but trust me later on you will thank me. Heres whats wrong with the picture. But he seemed so distant so I left it at that. Me: So met anyone interesting lately ;) But now after this disappearing magic trick, Im not into him anymore. I send a couple of text messages, saying I cant wait to see you, etc. Most people dont like when you do that, especially a guy who is used to you giving him attention as if he is a movie star. The good news is, that doesnt diminish you and what you have to offer some other great guy. I would get texts all day with cute Bitmojis and Emojis. He claimed to not understand i himself, he fekt numb, and disappeared for a day more or less. Guys have a sixth sense concerning what they can get away with, and you have a past history of guys who apparently think they can take you or leave youand youll stick around waiting for them to figure it out. Ghosting is a way of dealing with almost any problems. I care about me and my personal wellbeing. Although, I guess his past relationships were a good indicator of how he has trouble being with anyone normal. We never argued or fought. Here are the answers I should have given my friends when they asked me whyand the pep talk to go along with them. Im in emotional limbo (something I would never do to anyone but an enemy) and I cannot function properly. If he doesn't respond to your concerns about the relationship or want to discuss them it means he does not care enough to fix it or to listen to you any longer. Those texts that Wed and Thu was not the same person I was texting with before Sunday. He took pictures with me there, selfies and looked so happy and we held hands and walked a lot anyways we got back to Everything just seemed to go so perfectly on the last date, I just dont understand how he couldve acted the way he acted and said the things he said if he wasnt interested. I will walk and not look back UNLESS she puts an adequate amount into a mail/text/call in a calm, loving manner telling me she made a big mistake and apologising, offering to come and be with me and that were having a romantic relationship, not a demotion to friends who text small talk. it was an awesome first date, wonderful kiss at the end, we had a great time. He has blocked my calls, so I dont even try anymore. This will eat away at your self-esteem and will repel any new potential suitors that might come along. he knows that this would drive me nuts! I am grateful he showed me that I could love again, but now I think I have lost all trust in people,and feel that even though I had worked on my neediness issues during the break, and held the belief that all he wanted was to give me time to reflect on my behavior as well as his own feelings, but now Im afraid this experience has shown that my insecurities were somewhat founded. You didnt say how long you have been married, but you have likely engaged in much of the same behavior that contributed to the demise of your marriage since you were a very young man or perhaps even a child. If you take him back,he wiil stay for 3 months and get his itch again. I so desperately wanted closure, or more, and told him so. Sounds exactly like my situation. It is very hard though because the sexual chemistry between us is very intense and 5 years is a long time and getting to know and get involved with someone new is something Im not looking forward to. Im not going to blab on and on about it But I can say, with a reasonable level of confidence, that it was likely a major factor in his decision to ghost you. Also during our relationship his phone would act up to where we wouldnt receive each others texts and would have to download texting apps to continue talking. This isnt about my self worth and I find it quite offensive when people say that. So, apparently, you get this said to you a lot. Good luck with everything:). Anyway cut a long story short, started chatting to this guy on Tinder,we are both in music so we understand the unsociable hours and the pressure that comes with it. Just curious what do you think of a situation where two people who met each other at a party friend each other on a social network where she texts like she talks but also engages him about himself/his day and he always sends back just stickers or 1 phrase. I wonder if this has something to do with him being nervous and not wanting to kiss me. He tried visiting me a couple of times. But the stench of desperation poisons everything, and you can't mask it no matter how hard you try. Should I have initiated sex? But a week b4 we had a really bonding text back n forth. Dont contact him anymore. Yes, he used to do things I liked, but now he could care less. Dont get me wrong but It was very special because we also had a very deep and emotional talk. And Ali what if youre a girl who has dated down (I say this because I go for personality and chemistry more than looks) and they still disappear? Do not listen to his words. I just want the spark back. Well one daybi decided I was going to take my things and leave because I was unsure anymore about how he felt.he was spending more time with frienda, coming home drunk often, he changed the lock code on his phone, I just felt there was something more to the story. Once I got back I sent him a pic message and said oahu was fun :). After a while I decided it was safe to give in and give him my number. I was talking with this guy for two weeks and he would text me constantly and call and we would talk on the phone for hours. Remember always: if he wants to get in touch with you, he will. I only came on here because I wanted to know if I should keep trying or back off; his mom was sick so the circumstances are different. (Please dont scream and shout) My 7 year old daughter was highly involved as well. He dissAppeared from whatssap and hangouts and when I came from work to ask about when we would buy the tickets to my country to meet there again, he not longer answered me anymore. We planned to meet up a week after initially meeting and then he went MIA. she texted me straight up to ask if i was religious, what are my politics, and do i want kids and how many. Yes, we do, but we want things like they were in the first 2 months or so when we are on our best behavior. Around thanksgiving things heated up again and weve had a lot of laughs. Life certainly isnt. Wait for him to come back and be compassionate and understanding. I have been friends with this guy for over a year. It sounds like you were very sparsely seeing each other which is not at all the same as actually dating someone for 3 months. This texting among people just starting out is poison and all I see is an epidemic of hurt women for whatever reasons. What you want is a real BF who you can see on a regular basis. Thanks. He says hes staying where he is and she lives in a nearby town. then I stop intiating contact, I stop asking him out, for sure I stop dating him. :(. So we were dating for 4 years and left my house after a weekend together and we havent spoken much since. He never hid his interest in seeing me as soon as he could. We joked around we laughed we genuinely enjoyed each others company. It could just mean that he needed to get away and have his space. If more men were called on this kind of behavior, theyd stop doing it. He told me about his problems and his family and he would always reassure me when I get insecure. Sounds like he's distancing himself on purpose..to ease himself out of it. He really didnt say anything except for me to try to understand, that he had a bad winter and his financies were all screwed up and he needed some time to get back on top of his game again. Sure, I was the Cool Girl with no drama, no neediness, but thats still not enough Btw, I found out that he got married soon after he emailed me. We never had words, I asked him, so, this is it? I told him all of this and said how I wonder if there was someone else because of how he is acting and he said he isn't having this conversation again and after I expressed how I still felt the communication was lacking and he wasn't making me a priority he read the messages and hasn't been online since, nor reached out in any way or been on other social media. Were talking for a really long time through text and then we met up and had a really good time I thought. Gonna give myself a treat after i finished my 1st month of NC with him.! I said, well because you wont say it back! The next day he tries to make things normal and hits me up like nothing happened. Im allowing myself to date other guys and make new plans for the next stage of my life. I am going through it now. But then after 3-4-6 months of hanging out, sometimes dating, sometimes sex when it goes that far- and when there is, its awesome, I later get friend-zoned. If a guy disappears then okay, be glad you can keep searching for a better one;) theres so many good looking and interesting guys to meet! To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. I refuse to text him again though because of my pride which just leaves me sitting around, wondering if he'll come back or if I lost him forever. He also found out my birthday was soon during one of our conversations, and asked what he should get me for itasked multiple times. After a week I felt that may be I should initiate a contact and wont mention about our differences. Feeling ick. I saw him at the gym the very next day. I cant deny I had a lot of fun. Im not going to be the person he can message at 7pm when work is done just so he has something to do. He sounds exciting but in reality extremely immature, might shower attention on you when youre together, but in reality knows youre special and hes not so ghosts hanging out posting pics of other girls to beef himself up regardless of how that might make you feel. I was a bit disappointed but I replied that it is better to be just friend. There are people out there who dont care about anyone except themselves, people who are cold and cruel, and this guy sounds like one of them. I am no miss world, but I am witty & funny and I have this inherent love for myself (feel like a queen without throne- lol); silently we both got very attached to me it was perfect, since all I missed in my life was emotional warmth of a man which he provided (I just can not feel connected to any man it has to be very intelligent and principled person, otherwise I dont feel anything). After two first dates with a lively beautiful blond (middle school teacher) I had to let her off the hook. Ask some mutual friends if they know about his whereabouts. Thought we were good! then she starts blowing up his phone, demanding answers, or when he finally reaches out shes snappy and cold instead of calm, cool and confident. There must be something you liked about what you had or else you wouldnt have had it. And that was basically it. The next day comes and he tells me hes sick and then i say thats ok and then i ask him if hes ok cuz he seems weird. Then as the days went on less contact and he was even planning things to do on his own without my company. They think I am at least 10 years younger because I dont look my age. Men have to date down for sex but only marry in their league Okay with it. Ive been with my man (on and off) for over a year. We talk again on the phone for another hour the next night and I am on cloud nine. Also another thing id do is id tell myself that isnt that bothered anyway and because of that I justified the behaviour to an extent. I think because the emotions and the things you both said to each other than do not mean nothing to him and he was playing you. We dated for 6 months. Dont sweat it. And I would leave him alone after that. Of course I was upset and I told him that wasnt cool. We ended up spending 24hours together and had a really great conversation and I was supportive about the journey he was on, fresh out of his relationship and encouraging him to figure it out. And people say well there you go thats the problem. When I first found out that he was ignoring me I texted him a bunch of stuff and basically called him an asshole. He stopped liking my photos on social media and liking this new girls. Hed tell me how he cant believe that this is happening, he would tell me its unreal, he would tell me how beautiful i am, he even told me how much I remind him of his mother. He would even apologize when he didnt text me back straight away or the next day.. Hes having a lot of alibis. Wont text me back. He lived father away. Do you know his phone number by heart? Long story short I dont agree that we shouldnt reach out for him. This is so messed up, his I love u is sooo cheap to me. 7 months into the relationship and a week before our holiday he just broke up with me, I had to struggle to find a friend to do a name change with. . I have drafted a Dear John letter but am waiting to be absolutely sure. Dont wanna see you cry darlin So a week later no response no phone calls so I show up at his house again asking for answers. He stopped answering my calls, I checked on his Facebook and he was actually having fun. He says he loves me. Id appreciate the communication either way. (I initiated) the date or hang out went amazingly well. Man, I really miss my husband! The first time he and hooked up he dropped off the face of the earth.
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